..:ProfileX:..


Gregory Ng Jun Tai
bluiesotong
2 December 1986
sAgitArius

No more regrets...
I will be able to leave
brunei in 2 months time, be back in
sg for good, and pei my
laopo.. I love her..

Grace Sia Xin Yi
pinkysotong
18 April 1986
aRieS

studying my bach of nursing,
definitely studying hard!
awaiting him to come back from his
tour in brunei.
I miss my Laogong...
I love him...

..:DarlingS:..


Ah Yuan
Alison
Anselm Ng
Belle
Benji Foo
Camay
Chin Yee
Chantille Huishan
Crystane Huiying
Cynthia Ai mei
Daphne
David
Fion
gENE
Jeen
Jieying
Laogong
La Ballroom Enmasse
Lil Fir
Meixian
Shinta
Shiya
Suyun
Sylvia
Tze Wen
Weiting
Val
Wenxin
Yan Teng
Zelia
Zhiyuan

NR0405 Album
NR0405 (Class Blog)

..:Online Shoppie!:..


Wx-Yours
Vallerina Dreams
Wriggle my Toes
Baggeous

..:How HE Wish~~:..

go back to sg pei Laopo
Laopo stick to me 4ever
smooth career
promote to 1SG
buying my 1st car
taking part in Snging Compeition
be a Singer!
have my own Saxo n Violin??

..:How SHE Wish~~:..

be an Registered Nurse
promote to SN/RN I
Be an Asthma Nurse
going Overseas(anywhr!) wif Doodles!
Laogong Safe n Sound in Brunei
a Diamond Ring fr HIm
a new Phone in 08 - HTC Touch Diamond
Driving License
Compete in Beginner Ballroom Dance
finding a Ballroom Dance Partner
competing in Adv Ballroom Dancing
my own Lappy
Study in Uni, Bach of Nursing
Graduate Uni

..:OUR Wish List~~:..

Engagement Rings
Specs of our Own
Couple Shirt and NUM Sandels
Wedding Bands
"Meet e Parents Session"
ROM
Custom Marriage
to Honeymoon!
A Dog(a Cute one~)
a 4 or 5 room-flat
startin our lil family
looking forward to a Condominium
every1 to be Healthy n Happy

..:TaggY:..


..:Media:..



More Than Words - Westlife

..:ArcHiiveS:..

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

IM LOST..

ytd i've cried e whole day on n off.. until juz now, my dear juz went to work.. things goes like dis.. if taken e situation now, mi n my bf in future will hav probs.. somehow some1 comes in.. he really let mi think alot.. i cant blame him too, cuz he oso pouring out his heart.. so both went into my heart let result mi to think alot, alot n alot more.. dis few days or rather dis 2 wks, my close frens given mi different kinds of advice n suggestions.. somehow, i really dunno wat to do.. my bf give mi love, lots of love n care, but not security.. he give mi kind of soul security but he's not here.. sounds complicated rite? haha.. nvm, as long as i noe wat im toking.. i dun wan to make such a big decision at dis time for my future.. anyway my dear promise he'll do some changes n let mi c e results during a yr plus or 2 time till i decide.. n im taking degree next yr.. so settling down might b 2 yrs later??

ytd after my bf had seen his msg (of cuz he noes hu he is), he kinda ask mi.. so i think its time to tell him e whole true story....... from 9am till 3pm, we've been discussing, toking wat i wan, wat he wans.. at tat moment my heart really cant settle down, not to say to choose hu n hu.. but to give 1 another a chance to think thru.. so we've agreed to seperate for the time being.. we've cried.. very badly.. at tat point in time, wat we've done in e 4 yrs of dis relationship gush into my mind.. so sad.. very sad.. i noe i still cant leave him.. but i really need time to b alone..

after 3pm, we went cwp to watch movie juz like usual couple. but of cuz i knew tat our hearts is unsettled.. went back to my blk n tok again.. he tot im 2 timer? din care bout him n our 4 yrs relationship? i explained n im not.. i felt disappointed.. i've cried.. he understand.. n started blame himself for not building a good foundations wif mi.. tats y things turn out dis way... but i din blame him.. i mean feelings dis kind of thing, dere's no hu's rite hu's wrong.. juz follow..

at nite, i've been thinking.. hugging my dear.. i felt very bad.. very bad.. thinkin y i juz cant settle down n decide 1?? y i gt e feeling of lost?? if im not lost, i wun b thinking so much.. i dunno.. i really dunno.. im lost.. very lost.. i've hurt some1 hu loves mi.. how?? i hate myself for being so selfish.. really hate.. i cried... non-stop.. more worse.. crying n crying.. tears juz easily flowin out of my eyes, down my face.. i really hated myself..

i've cried until very tired.. i slept.. even in my slp, my heart seems to break down.. tears run down even in my slp.. heart breaking.. until dis morning, dear went to work.. he said alot of caring mi words, seems like wan to leave mi.. i've cried again.. swollen eyes.. n again n again cried .. while typing dis blog too..

both miss mi, love mi.. worry bout mi.. tell mi not to worry too much.. think too much.. but sometimes juz cant help it.. i need to think wats best for us.. need to think of each other feelings.. try not to hurt 1 another as much as possible.. i think im not a gal hu worth for some1 doing something for mi.. im bad.. really bad..


PiNky sOtoNg 7/23/2008 08:36:00 AM